I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
