this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
