where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
