I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
