; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
