i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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