I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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