FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize