yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
