he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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