How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
