And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
