i don't like sucking hair
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
