I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
