I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
honey bunches of taint.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
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Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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