are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
