Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
