Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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