yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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