are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
