I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
