I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
