Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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