a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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