butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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