why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The adults are the big ones right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
