Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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