your room smells of hookers.
And success
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
