We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Every concussion has its silver lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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