So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
