that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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