My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
