This girl is more easily done than said...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
