I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So squirting runs in the family.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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