We need to rekindle our bromance
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
