# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
farters have to be the big spoon...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
