My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
