Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
