A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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