My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
