um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
