omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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