My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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