I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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