"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
