Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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