Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
