I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit