Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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(410): i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations. http://tfl.nu/0kby

Replies (10) Good night (3164) Bad night (566)
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(805): View more from California

Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.

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(805): Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die. http://tfl.nu/cdvk

Replies (13) Good night (702) Bad night (2651)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache

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(860): New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache http://tfl.nu/a5vx

Replies (22) Good night (4515) Bad night (657)
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(718): View more from New York

what happened last night?

(917): View more from New York City

u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

(718): View more from New York

that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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(718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9

Replies (39) Good night (14264) Bad night (1084)
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(858): View more from California

Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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(858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh

Replies (31) Good night (1376) Bad night (4605)
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(817): View more from Texas

MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.

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(817): MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice. http://tfl.nu/3445

Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (3219)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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(317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4

Replies (6) Good night (920) Bad night (4730)
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(909): View more from California

Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?

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(909): Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked? http://tfl.nu/pmav

Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (1051)
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(207): View more from Maine

She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks

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(207): She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks http://tfl.nu/sgso

Replies (22) Good night (5247) Bad night (1131)
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(330): View more from Ohio

yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

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(330): yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon http://tfl.nu/yvmd

Replies (15) Good night (1936) Bad night (668)
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(210): View more from Texas

well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry

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(210): well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry http://tfl.nu/jusc

Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (1297)
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(561): View more from Florida

Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.

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(561): Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch. http://tfl.nu/p878

Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (597)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.

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(204): Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small. http://tfl.nu/6zla

Replies (3) Good night (914) Bad night (669)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.

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(781): MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE. http://tfl.nu/t2xt

Replies (4) Good night (524) Bad night (287)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.

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(502): My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things. http://tfl.nu/bhbf

Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (197)

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