we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
dude. I can hear the air.
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