He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
