Texts From Last Night

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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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  (551): Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva http://tfl.nu/0m5z
  Replies (84) Good night (5487) Bad night (1736)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.

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  (330): thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left. http://tfl.nu/oxn5
  Replies (35) Good night (1112) Bad night (5085)
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  (518): View more from New York

  wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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  (518): wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision http://tfl.nu/37aw
  Replies (11) Good night (5993) Bad night (652)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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  (704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4896) Bad night (1349)
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  (518): View more from New York

  idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever

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  (518): idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever http://tfl.nu/70al
  Replies (16) Good night (6613) Bad night (1612)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

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  (919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull
  Replies (26) Good night (8055) Bad night (2190)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all

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  (814): Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all http://tfl.nu/xfbz
  Replies (12) Good night (2987) Bad night (1155)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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  (248): He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup. http://tfl.nu/dnmt
  Replies (12) Good night (3408) Bad night (943)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.

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  (709): I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards. http://tfl.nu/5dgw
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (686)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.

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  (505): We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon. http://tfl.nu/nv69
  Replies (15) Good night (1874) Bad night (584)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.

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  (218): Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off. http://tfl.nu/vd2r
  Replies (7) Good night (1238) Bad night (689)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.

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  (503): Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you. http://tfl.nu/ee0n
  Replies (5) Good night (2375) Bad night (638)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (1029)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here

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  (336): Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here http://tfl.nu/w9vv
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (263)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?

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  (305): Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it? http://tfl.nu/7lec
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (401)

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