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• (706): View more from Georgia

  i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.

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• (559): View more from California

  She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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• (+10): View more from

  I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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• (909): View more from California

  Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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• (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.

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