have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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