dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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