so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
