While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
