I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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