Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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