we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
