yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
