If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
