how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize