i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he puts the penis in happiness.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
