Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
