just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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