GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
