I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
