I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
