i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize