we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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